How Do Others "See" Me?

I have been on this journey to a new me for over five and a half months now and I have dropped and forever lost 63.2 pounds and I have had many days to reflect on me and how others "see" me.

When I was growing up and would see a pretty young girl a sense of jealousy would almost come over me as I would desire to be her. Not really be "her" but to look like "her". It wasn't that she was necessarily prettier than me but she was "thinner" than me, and that is what I wanted for myself. When I would comment to my mother she would say things like, "Pretty is as Pretty does" or "Beauty is only "skin deep". As a young girl and later a young lady I really did not know what either of these statements meant. But as an adult I have a new appreciation for both of these statements and here are a few of my recent ponderings on them.

"Pretty is as Pretty does" could mean several things but I can remember in the context of my mom saying those words a pretty young girl having a fit and not behaving and her parents trying their best to get her under control and the pretty child using all of her looks and charm to get away with it. It was on these occasions that I would hear those words, "Pretty is as Pretty does."

The other phrase, "Beauty is only skin deep" has a totally different meaning all together. I went to high school with some girls who were "knock-outs", they were simply "drop-dead gorgeous!". But they put a new meaning to the words, "Mean Girls"! Those girls could say and do things that would cut you like a knife! They had no respect for anyone else's feelings and they all felt as if they were God's Special Gift to the planet! I remember them clearly as the snobbish, popular but beautiful girls and the ones who would step on anyone or anything on their way to the top in popularity!

Well you are probably wondering why I am reflecting on pretty girls and mean girls and what does it have to do with me and my journey to a new me? Well I just started wondering "How do people see me?" "How have people seen me in the past and how do people see me today?"

I hope none of the above statements apply to me, then or now! I never want to feel like I am pretty so I can do or say what I want to regardless of who I hurt on my way. I have always tried to treat others as I wanted to be treated. I have raised both of my clildren to do the same. I am tryimg to relay the same message to my grandchildren. My two and a half year old grandaughter is one of those super cute girls who could easily wrap her Nana around her finger and get her way "All" the time, but I refuse to be a part of that "Your pretty so you can get away with anything routine". At no time has looks or the lack of looks been a determining factor in how I treat others, whether they are friends, family, relatives or strangers.

Please do not mis-read this post and think that I am saying that I am pretty or that once I lose the weight that I will be pretty. I am not saying that at all. I am trying to discover for myself how people view me. What do they see when they look at me? I know that for myself, I can finally look in the mirror and see a more realistic picture of myself. I know that I have a long way to go on my journey to a new me but I like the direction that I am heading. I hope that others can see the real me that has been buried beneath the weight for the past forty seven years and get to know me even better. Have you ever thought about this about yourself? How do others see you? Lets hope that they do not view you as a person who lives by "pretty is as pretty does" or "beauty is only skin deep". Do your best to put your best self forward for others to see and get to know. Who knows you may make a life long friend along the way!