I have been traveling down My Journey To A New Me for seven months now, and it seems like just a few short weeks ago that I began this adventure. I am being serious when I say this. If I had a clue on December 11, 2010 that I would have had this much success and would be continuing my efforts in my weight loss and healthier lifestyle I would not have believed it myself. As of this morning I am down 71.4 pounds, just 3.6 pounds away from my July 4th goal of 75 pounds of weight loss. I know that July 4th has already passed but I refuse to stop trying to hit that mark until I hit it and surpass it!
I was recently asked a question and at the time I did not put very much thought into the answer but during the last week to ten days I have given it more thought and I would like to share those with anyone reading this blog.
The question was: "What is your biggest obstacle?" I think I replied eating out or something to that nature, but that was more of a "pat" answer than anything else. I believe my biggest obstacle is not eating out, or eating any certain types of foods. I believe my biggest obstacle in the past and still today is ME!
You are probably wondering why would I say me, right? Well there are many reasons but I will only list a one today. One of the biggest problems that I had in past was the obstacle of denial. Denial is a tricky word and one that can be harmful to the person who is in it (denial that is). I know first hand because for most of my adult life I lived in the fairytale land of denial. I had more denial going on than there are reruns on TV in the summer time. Denial about my real health status. Denial that I was not just overweight but in fact obese. Well not just obese but morbidly obese. To be ten, twenty or thirty pounds above your goal weight is "overweight" to be 100 pounds over your goal weight is obese, and I had exceeded this into the realm of morbidly obese. What is still interesting to me is that I still lived with myself, looked in the mirror each day, and thought I looked okay. That, my friend, is DENIAL in it's truest form.
On my journey to a new me I discovered that denial is not something that you do one day and then you don't do it the next day. Once you get into the arena of denial you stay with it. My clothes would become "tighter" and I would make excuses that the dryer was shrinking my clothes. When the seasons would change from winter to spring and I started changing out my clothes from one season to the next in my closest I found myself buying new summer clothes, and shorts. Why? Because the old ones were out of style? No, but because they were too small.
This was not just an excuse to buy new clothes but another trip into denial.
I think about the very public court cases that go to trial. To everyone watching on the news at night we can easily find the person guilty, but to the person who did the crime they are still in denial and claiming their innocence. I have heard it said before that someone who is not truthful in their answers, if given the opportunity to repeat the same lies over and over again will begin to believe the lies as facts, and that to me is another form of denial.
Well I refuse to do that anymore. I am no longer kidding myself, or anyone else for that matter. I choose to exit the "denial arena". I am learning more and more about myself every day, but one practice that I do not want to continue any more is denial. I have had enough of that to last my lifetime and then some. If you are kidding yourself, I ask you to do yourself a favor. Get out of the "denial arena" you have a lot more living to do once you do it!
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