The Power Of "Can't "

Me at 3 years old

When I was a young girl I can remember trying to do certain things and failing miserably, or wanting to try something new and not having the courage to do it. I remember on those occasions telling my parents about my frustrations over these obstacles and it never failed that they would always say the same thing to me, "Can't Never Could".




Well to be quite honest, until I heard someone else use this expression recently I really had not thought much about it in many years. To some of you the expression is not a new one, but to others this may be your first time to ever hear it. When I was a child, adolescent and later a young adult, I had absolutely no idea what this expression meant. I figured it was my parents way of saying "Just Deal With It" or something of this nature. But now that I am on this journey to a new me it is like my mind is more open to understanding things, especially things about  my childhood. So please allow me to share with you what my new understanding is regarding this old phrase.

Me in the 3rd Grade

When I heard someone else say it to their child, what I heard went like this:
"Can't" (used here as a pronoun, as in a proper name)
"Never" (meaning - it will never happen)
"Could" (meaning - possibility of greatness)


Translation?
(My Name ... Will Never ... Do Anything Great ... )


Alright, so I know this is not as clear in my blog as it is in my head, but give me a minute to get you on the same page that I am on.   If  "Can't Never Could"  is the response that I got from my parents, were they wrong to make this statement to me?   Were they being negative to their youngest child? Were they trying
to scar me for life? The answer is very simple, No, No, and No.


What they were trying to get me to understand was that if I always "sided" with that "person" named "Can't"  then I would never be able to do anything or accomplish anything for myself.  Because when I was "choosing" Can't,  I had already made my choice.  Because when I would choose "Can't" my decision was to quit trying.


Well as an obese adult, I realize now that I had become very close friends with that "person" named "Can't".  You might even say that we had become B.F.F (best friends forever) 
I took this person with me everywhere I went.    If I wanted to eat healthy, it seemed that "Can't" was always there to detour me off the right track.  When driving by a Bruster's Ice Cream, a Dunkin Donuts or the "Hot" Krispy Kreme sign, there was "Can't" sitting in my passenger seat telling me "you can't resist, no one will know, just do it this one time".  (And if you have looked at my before pictures, you know that I always listened to "Can't")

Then there were the four different times that I joined a gym.  I started with great excitement to exercise smart and get healthy, after all the only person who could take care of my body was me. But you guessed it, my dear old friend  "Can't" always wanted to  participate in my exercise regimen.  "Can't" would  step in and tell me that the exercises were simply too hard for me, I shoudn't be attempting that.  Or that there just never seems to be a right time to go to the gym, and I just "Can't" make the time with my busy schedule.

Yes, "Can't" was a close friend.  But not one that I would proudly introduce to anyone.  Why?  Because "Can't" was really any and every excuse that I could come up with to not do the right thing. To not pay attention to what I was doing to my body.  To not eat to  be healthy, and to have an excuse to become very seditary in my daily life. 

The "Can't  Never Could" living inside of me, just about stole my life from me.  At forty years old I was diagnosed with diabetes type 2.  You would have thought that this would be a big enough reason to get me busy about making positive changes in my life.  But with a close friend like "Can't" it became easier and easier to deny and avoid the problem of my increased weight until December 11, 2010 when I came face to face with my deciding "AHA Moment".

Well that was the day that I said "Good-Bye and So-Long" to my not so good friend "Can't" because this was the day that I decided to change my destiny.  My outlook on life is so much brighter without "Can't" clouding my judgement on my food choices, my exercise and my over all well being.  I am a happier and more fulfilled person since I ended the relationship that I had with "Can't". 

So I guess I need to ask you a few questions.  When are you going to say your good-byes to your friend, "Can't".   I know you have this friend, we all do at some time in our life.  Isn't it time that you parted ways and looked forward to happy and healthier days ahead?  Just remember "Can't Never Could"  but You Can.   I know because I  did!