Where does 'memory like an elephant' come from? Does an elephant actually have a great memory or is it just a random saying? How would you know if they had a great memory or not? I did a quick google search and was able to gain some insight into the background regarding this statement.
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AN ELEPHANT NEVER FORGETS - "First attested in the United States in 'Blue Ridge' (1937) by W. Martyn. The proverb is probably of Greek origin. The Greeks sometimes say, 'The camel never forgets an injury,' according to Burton Stevenson. 'To have a memory like an elephant' is used as a figure of speech." From "Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings" (1996) by Gregory Y. Titelman (Random House, New York, 1996).
A second reference adds to this and has an earlier citation date: "Said of someone with a prodigious memory, usually for slights and wrongs. It was not the memory of the elephant but that of the camel that was renowned amongst the Greeks long ago. A Greek proverb ran 'Camels never forget an injury.' Proverbial reference to the elephant's memory is relatively recent.
A second reference adds to this and has an earlier citation date: "Said of someone with a prodigious memory, usually for slights and wrongs. It was not the memory of the elephant but that of the camel that was renowned amongst the Greeks long ago. A Greek proverb ran 'Camels never forget an injury.' Proverbial reference to the elephant's memory is relatively recent.
The origin of the phrase seems to go back to observations that elephants follow the same paths and even hand down genetic memories of directions and places grounds across generations. Each elephant clan has a certain burial place, like many human communities, and always help the dying ones get back there if they are not killed traumatically first.
The most famous example of the tenacity of memory of elephants is illustrated in the story "Elephant Walk," which was made into a movie in the 40s, or perhaps early 50s. This is the true story of a British colonial villa which was built across a traditional elephant walk in India. The elephants were confused and enraged to find their way blocked, and every year at the same time, the villa staff would have to defend the villa and deflect the herds around it so they could get from one side of the offending villa in their traditional migration.
Finally the elephants could not be dissuaded, and one year in rage they finally stormed on through the villa, destroying it and killing many of the people, restoring the traditional road.
In addition to their travel and burial patterns, it has been demonstrated in the 20th century that elephants also have a high friendship skill with humans, as well as develping lasting relationships with other elephants, and in fact do remember individuals of the human and their own species even when separated for decades.
So now that we all know about elephants and their great memories, you are probably wondering what this has to do with my journey to a new me? Well it goes back to my early childhood. I was just remembering things from my early years, things that were hurtful and things that I wish that I would have never overheard others say about me. In one of the references above it stated: "Said of someone with a prodigious memory, usually for slights and wrongs." I think in some cases this applies to me. Now that I am moving in the right direction with my weight and more importantly, my health, I believe it is important to disect my thoughts and emotions regarding my weight and why I grew to be so obese to begin with.
One of my earliest hurtful memories was when I was a young teenager and I was spending the night at a friends house. I remember after dinner that night we were playing in my friends family room and my friends mother called her into their kitchen. Like most children after she was gone for a few minutes I got up to go see what she was doing and from around the corner, just beyond where they could see me, I saw her mother giving her a piece of cake and when my friend said: "Mommy can I take a piece of cake to me friend?" Her mother quietly replied, "No honey, your friend does not need a piece of cake. You just finish your piece of cake in here and then go back in there and play. She does not need to know that you had dessert." I remember the hurt that I felt at that moment, not just at what her mother had said but that my friend did not stand up for me and insist on either having her mother give me a piece of cake or share her piece of cake with me. I remember going back into their family room and waiting on her to come back. When she came back she could have won an Oscar for her performance. I casually asked her what did her mother want and she replied, "Oh nothing. She just wanted me to help her with the dishes." I then knew that my friend was not really my friend and I told her that I needed to leave and I walked home and never went over to her house again.
That is a painful memory, and one that I had all but forgotten. I wonder what caused me to pull this memory from my past? Why now after more than 35 years would this memory come to my remembrance? I believe that deep at the root of my obesity are reasons beyond my understanding as to why and how I became the morbidly obese woman that I was. I believe that if people knew how powerful their words were they would be a little more careful of the words that they spoke. I remember my friend wanting to come over to my house, or get off the bus at my house after school and I always made an excuse to her as to why I did not want to get together with her. When in fact it was because of a deep hurt that I had suffered by her and her mother that fateful day.
When I think about it, the example above is not the only time in my childhood that something similar happened. As the bad memories flood back I take a moment to reflect on each and every one of them. And the reality is this, "What can I do about it now?" Nothing. The old saying: You can't cry over split milk is true. But what I can do is choose to forgive. Because with forgiveness comes healing. Today, I forgive them for the hurt that they caused me. I forgive myself for having a pity-party every time something like this happened to me and I used it as an excuse to over eat. Today is a new day. Today I can choose to forgive and forget the painful words of the past, and reflect on the positive words of encouragement that I have received over the past year on my journey to a new me.
I want to personally thank all of your who have offered positive words, kind words, and words of affirmation and encouragement to me. All of the positive words are helping me to release the hurt from the past, and move toward my next goal of 50 pounds in '2012.
One of my earliest hurtful memories was when I was a young teenager and I was spending the night at a friends house. I remember after dinner that night we were playing in my friends family room and my friends mother called her into their kitchen. Like most children after she was gone for a few minutes I got up to go see what she was doing and from around the corner, just beyond where they could see me, I saw her mother giving her a piece of cake and when my friend said: "Mommy can I take a piece of cake to me friend?" Her mother quietly replied, "No honey, your friend does not need a piece of cake. You just finish your piece of cake in here and then go back in there and play. She does not need to know that you had dessert." I remember the hurt that I felt at that moment, not just at what her mother had said but that my friend did not stand up for me and insist on either having her mother give me a piece of cake or share her piece of cake with me. I remember going back into their family room and waiting on her to come back. When she came back she could have won an Oscar for her performance. I casually asked her what did her mother want and she replied, "Oh nothing. She just wanted me to help her with the dishes." I then knew that my friend was not really my friend and I told her that I needed to leave and I walked home and never went over to her house again.
That is a painful memory, and one that I had all but forgotten. I wonder what caused me to pull this memory from my past? Why now after more than 35 years would this memory come to my remembrance? I believe that deep at the root of my obesity are reasons beyond my understanding as to why and how I became the morbidly obese woman that I was. I believe that if people knew how powerful their words were they would be a little more careful of the words that they spoke. I remember my friend wanting to come over to my house, or get off the bus at my house after school and I always made an excuse to her as to why I did not want to get together with her. When in fact it was because of a deep hurt that I had suffered by her and her mother that fateful day.
When I think about it, the example above is not the only time in my childhood that something similar happened. As the bad memories flood back I take a moment to reflect on each and every one of them. And the reality is this, "What can I do about it now?" Nothing. The old saying: You can't cry over split milk is true. But what I can do is choose to forgive. Because with forgiveness comes healing. Today, I forgive them for the hurt that they caused me. I forgive myself for having a pity-party every time something like this happened to me and I used it as an excuse to over eat. Today is a new day. Today I can choose to forgive and forget the painful words of the past, and reflect on the positive words of encouragement that I have received over the past year on my journey to a new me.
I want to personally thank all of your who have offered positive words, kind words, and words of affirmation and encouragement to me. All of the positive words are helping me to release the hurt from the past, and move toward my next goal of 50 pounds in '2012.
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