I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now !



Kathy & Kevin
Wedding Day 12-10-83


I am a true believer in the old saying "Hind Sight Is 20/20.". Why?  Because in my case it is true. I look back at my life, the past 47 years, and I can now see things more clearly than I could before.  During the past twenty-seven years of marriage I have gained and lost so much more than weight.


Because of the choices that I have been making, particularly the food choices and the amount of food that I was consuming I have missed out on so many opportunities ( aka: activities ) because of my weight and size.

My husband loves me for me.  He sees the "real me" the me that I am at the core.  He fell in love with this Georgia born and bred girl who has always had a weight problem.  I was not a small person when we began dating back in February 1981, and I was even  heavier on our wedding day on December 10, 1983. 


Hot Apple Dumpling like
Kevin's Mom Used to Make!!!


The first year of our marriage I was so blissfully in love and happy with my new life as a wife tthat I gained 50 pounds!  The extra pounds just seemed to jump on me overnight!  I was eating without thinking, and enjoying my life to the fullest.  Or so it seemed.  We would stop by his parents house on our way home from work, and enjoy a great home cooked meal, and any dessert that his mom would bake.

 Now I look back at those early days of the marriage and a see a young 20 year girl who was out of control.  I guess "Love is Blind" would be an applicable statement.  I had started down a path that continued for the next 27 years!  I really thought that I was happy and fulfilled with our life.  But the farther that I go on this Journey To A New Me, the more that I can see that there were so many things that I missed out on along the way.

I can remember after we had adoped our children and we took them to Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL the first summer that we had them living in our home.  There was so much to see and do, but I was the overweight mom who had to sit by the sidelines many times because the ride was not made for someone of my size to enjoy.  I remembered riding on Space Mountain earlier in my life and wanted to enjoy it with my children but because of my size, this was not possible.

The same thing happened a few years later at Six Flags Over Georgia.  The new Superman ride came out and we promised to take our kids during Spring Break.  We got to the ride and they had a empty ride seat out front for you to "try" before you waited in the extremely long line to make sure that you could fit and be comfortable.  I could wedge my butt into the seat but the part that pulled down over your head and shoulders was no where near going to engage and lock.  There was just too much of me in the way!  So how embarassing for me to tell my kids again to go ride with their dad because I could not do it.

I made promises to myself on both of the occassions above to "Do Something About It"

Turret Arch at Arches National Park
Moab, UT  (9/2008)

(my weight) but I never did.  Well I did do something about it, I gained even more weight.  In more recent years I can remember going on vacations with my husband and my parents out west to the Grand Canyon, Arches National Park, Bryce Canyon, Cedar Breaks National Monument, Natural Bridges National Park, and other really cool places.  But I can remember that the walk or hike to see some of the off the beaten path type sights were just too hard for me to do and my mom and my husband would take the little side trip to see some of the really cool stuff that I did not think that I could do.  Today  I am mad at myself because these are things that I missed out on! 

One really enjoyable memory was when they talked me into walking the distance at Arches National Park to see the North and South Window.  I can remember at first starting to argue

Me in front of the South Window
at Arches National Park (9/2008)

 with them that I did not think that I could do it, and that I would just stay at the car with my  
dad who struggles with his left leg.  But something happened, and I decided to forget about  how tired I was and to just do it.  I set my own pace.  I did not try to "keep up" with them, but let them go at their own pace ahead of me.  Well I am happy to say that I accomplished it!   We stayed there and enjoyed the view for quite some time.  We watched as a huge storm approached from the south and we could see the rain and lightening as it moved across the desert.



I am learning more and more about myself and why I am the
way that I am with each passing day.  I believe it is true "If I knew then what I know now"  I would probably have enjoyed many more things with my husband, children and family.  I know that I can't live in the past and I choose to live without any regrets.  Every day is a new day for me full of experiences that I want to embrace because now that I am on this journey to a new me there is no telling how much "real living" is ahead of me.  Who knows how many things that I will finally be able to do since I will no longer be too big or too heavy to live my life to the fullest!  We are planning our next trip now and I can't wait to see how much that I am able to do and experience!!!!